Monday, December 21, 2015

It's Been So Long!

After an on again, off again relationship with my blog, I have decided to keep going.  I don't know if anyone will ever read it, but it is a good way for me to keep a journal and write more often.  

Today is the first day of Winter Break for my kids.  The two youngest boys have colds, which my body is trying hard to fight.  I am still in my p.j.'s and haven't showered since Saturday.  I missed a Christmas party last night, stayed home with the sickest kid, watched movies and did laundry.  My girls are spending a few nights at my parent's house, and that provides a somewhat quiet house for me!  

I am not ready for Christmas.  I can't believe how quickly it snuck up on me, and every year I tell myself I need to save money ahead of time, or shop early.  This year I didn't listen (again) and we are waiting on a paycheck, so we are not spending much on gifts.  I am either making them, or buying inexpensive, small things for the kids.  The big gift for our whole family is going to be in January.  We are going to rent a cabin near the mountain and spend several days together playing in the snow, sitting by the fire or in the private hot tub.  

I am trying to direct the kids (and myself) to focus more on the true meaning of Christmas.  I keep reminding the kids that it is Jesus' birthday, not ours.  I want peace and love shared abundantly this season.  We are keeping it simple, and aside from the guilt trips I get on occasion by certain teens, I feel like it is going to be a good year. 

Friday, November 7, 2014

Paint

Sometimes, a fresh coat of paint does wonders for the soul. It covers up the dingy ugly surface and looks light and bright again.  I've been in recovery from depression and addictions for almost forty days now. I still struggle, but after doing some thinking about why I don't like coming out of hibernation from my room, I realized that I hate the living space in the rest of the house. I began painting a few days ago, starting in the dining room. I am choosing some bright, happy colors to paint the walls. 

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Hope

Today I want to share about something I have been living (mostly secretly) with for a long time. Depression. It creeps over me like a dark grey cloud and through the slight transparencies I can see hope on some days. On the very dark days, I am hope-less. I feel guilt for these feelings of being useless, sad and dull. I don't really know why I feel this way, and it is so difficult to answer loved ones when they ask me why I am depressed. The only answer I can give is "I don't know".

For those who know me well, I have a futuristic strength (I learned this from the book "Strengths Finder" by Tom Rath). I'm a visionary; a dreamer. I look often to the future and the positive changes that will come. The weakness of this strength is that sometimes I don't take the time to live in this moment. I have so many hopes, dreams, goals and ambitions. They are all swimming chaotically inside my head. Many times I feel overwhelmed with all that I would like to do, but I don't find the time to start something. Daily life and distractions get in the way, but more often the dark cloud called Depression will haunt me and swallow my dreams with discouragement.

The cloud has been darkening over my days for a few years now. It has slowly, over the last ten years, become dense and thick and I can barely see through it. I live my days with regret, worthless feelings and intense anger. It's effected every aspect of my life; my family, friends, work and hobbies. 

There is however, hope to come. I thank God for this futuristic strength He has given me. The many things I want for my future can be reached. Hope through Him is far stronger than the dark cloud of Depression. While it feels like breaking through the low laying layers of grey is going to take months of work; the glimmer of light on the distant mountain is worth the climb.



Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Baptized

My 11 year old girly got baptized tonight! I am so proud of her and thankful for her love for her Savior. 

Monday, September 8, 2014

Studio Progress

I have been moving things into my new studio slowly. I don't think most of my furniture will fit, but I will make do. I have a couple tables, some crates as shelves, a cute antique mirrored vanity and a couple chairs. Not much room for anything else. I'm loving the way it's turning out!

Friday, September 5, 2014

New Art Studio

I have been renting a room for my art studio at a building about thirty minutes from my home for almost a year. I have loved having my own space to create without distractions and clutter in my house. However, there is always a guilty feeling when I am gone, and lots of time spent commuting. Plus the rent, although reasonable for the space, was still money I could be spending on other things for my business.

I decided to see if we could use an outbuilding as a studio, and J started getting to work on cleaning out a little 80 sq. ft. garden shed. I have been scouring Pinterest with ideas of what I want and he has been busy building. It's starting to get close to completion.

I am excited to decorate! I want a gypsy wagon/boho feel, so I have been shopping at thrift and antique stores to find items like scarves, pillows and storage options. I need to make the most out of this small space, so we put up peg board to store art supplies. I also found this little child's desk today that I fit in for $20!

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

First Day of School




It's finally arrived! We are the last district in the county to start school I think. This year L is a senior, C is a sophomore and we are homeschooling this year, K is a 5th grader, E is a 3rd grader and S is a 1st grader. The little boys asked for haircuts last night and I cut E's first. It turned out alright and S kept asking for his turn. His hair is so tight and curly, it kept getting caught in the clippers. So I basically buzzed it all off. It turned out pretty short and he was so upset. I feel horrible. He cried and cried and this morning at school he wouldn't take off his jacket or hood.

Sunday, August 10, 2014

Control

Lately, my life has been spinning out of control. Faster and faster it spins and the only way I can get a grip to hang on is art. I could paint all day long. But the problem is, when I spend time doing this, then the other issues become even larger. Kids' behaviors, finances, health, relationships, house repairs, and more all seem like too much to take on. Even with a wonderfully supportive husband, it's all too much! I need to get control of some of it soon. This fall I am going to be working on this. I need to start by committing to fewer outside things and becoming more cautious before making plans. 

Sunday, July 27, 2014

Home from RollerCon

Wow, what a week! I can't believe how quick time flies when you are learning so much. I was so busy, I didn't take many pictures. Boo.


I took a doTerra essential oils class. I received some great free samples and learned many new things.


A blurry shot of the class registration line on day one.

Here is me this morning. We decided since we had to catch the shuttle at 5 am, we should just stay up. There was a fun pool party almost all night long. And we had to pack. 


Our flight home was quite the adventure. It's the first time I have even been in an airplane that had to turn around and land because of engine issues. We waited around in the airport for another plane and were five hours late coming home. But so thankful we made it!

Friday, July 25, 2014

Hello again!

It's been a long time.  I decided to come back to blogging, give you an update on what's new, and journal my journey.

I am still playing roller derby.  I just finished my second season as a skater, and my husband is a referee for the same league.  Right now we are currently in Las Vegas for RollerCon 2014.  We got here early on Tuesday and it's been go, go, go ever since.  I am enjoying a quiet morning in the hotel room, since we were up so late last night.  I am learning a lot and having fun!  The kids are at home with Grandma, and they seem to be doing well.

I am working part-time at a pregnancy clinic.  It's been great, but I seem to be having a hard time juggling everything at once.  I also am working on my art business, White Rabbit Arts.  I have sold several paintings this year, and am setting up a booth to sell art and crafts on Aug. 2-3rd.  I have a lot to do the week I get home from Vegas!

The kids are doing ok.  L. will be a senior this year! I can't believe it.  C. is going to be a sophomore, K, a fifth grader, E. a third grader, and S. a first grader.  I hope life will get a little easier, now that three kids are all at the same school.  E. has been going to therapy/counseling for attachment.  We found a wonderful local woman who understands attachment issues, having been adopted and gone through it herself.  She is great!



Saturday, June 15, 2013

Great Derby

I had a road trip last weekend with my friend. We drove down to Olympia and watched a bout with some amazing athletes. It was good to watch and fun to hang out with a friend.







Friday, June 14, 2013

Preschool Graduation

S. graduated from over two years of preschool today! I think he is going to miss his friends and teachers, but he has a whole new adventure coming up.









Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Derby Break

I just finished my fresh meat season and our wonderful team won the league championships on Saturday night! I am so thankful for my league and team mates for the relationships I have formed, motivating me and teaching me. I can't wait for next season! The first bout will be sometime in January. I am planning on working hard, to continue learning skills and the game, and to get stronger and faster on eight wheels.







Last 8th Grade Concert

C. Is moving into high school this fall! I can't believe it. She is turning into such a beautiful young lady. She's also a talented violinist and artist. Here are some photos of her at the combined district spring strings concert (or Fiddlefest, as her dad calls it!).






Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Local Derby in the news

http://m.westernfrontonline.net/mobile/sports/article_0f801554-bcb1-11e2-a607-0019bb30f31a.html

AND I skated in my first bout ever on Saturday!!

Hashimoto's

I recently was diagnosed with Hashimoto's and in the process of learning a lot about how to try to control it with the medication I have been on for years. I just want to share this info taken from this blog:
http://www.drtraviselliott.com/blog/tag/hashimotos/

To identify Hashimoto’s, it’s important to screen for TPO and TGB antibodies on a blood test. If either of these is positive it indicates the immune system is attacking and destroying the thyroid gland, causing symptoms. In this case, the main strategy is not necessarily to treat the thyroid gland (although thyroid hormone medication may be necessary), but to balance the immune system in order to tame autoimmune attacks against the thyroid.

Going on a strict gluten-free diet. Numerous studies from several different countries show a strong link between Hashimoto’s hypothyroidism and gluten, a protein found in wheat, barley, rye, spelt, and other wheat-like grains. Interestingly, studies show those with a gluten intolerance are genetically more prone to Hashimoto’s disease. Gluten also promotes inflammation and leaky gut, which exacerbate autoimmune disease.

Adopting an autoimmune diet. For some people, going gluten-free is not enough to manage Hashimoto’s hypothyroidism and they need to follow an autoimmune diet that eliminates common inflammatory foods, such as dairy, eggs, or other grains. A whole-foods diet that emphasizes plenty of produce and eliminates processed foods is important to manage an autoimmune condition such as Hashimoto’s hypothyroidism.

Repairing a leaky gut. Leaky gut, or intestinal permeability, often plays a role in autoimmune diseases such as Hashimoto’s hypothyroidism. Leaky gut is a condition in which the lining of the small intestine becomes inflamed, damaged, and porous, allowing undigested foods, bacteria, fungus, and other foreign invaders into the sterile environment of the bloodstream. Once in the bloodstream these foreign invaders trigger inflammation and autoimmunity.

Stabilize blood sugar. Stabilizing blood sugar is vital to managing Hashimoto’s hypothyroidism. A diet high in sugars and refined carbohydrates (such as breads, pastas, pastries, and desserts) creates inflammation and hormonal imbalances that make it difficult to tame an autoimmune condition. Energy crashes, fatigue after meals, excess belly fat, hormonal imbalances, mood swings, and sleep issues are all signs you may have a blood sugar handling disorder, such as hypoglycemia (low blood sugar) or insulin resistance (high blood sugar).
These are just a few of the basics of autoimmune management for conditions such as Hashimoto’s hypothyroidism. It’s important to manage your autoimmune condition to lower your risk of developing other autoimmune diseases, such as pernicious anemia, rheumatoid arthritis, vitiligo, or Type I diabetes.

I want to try to get things under control as much as possible with diet, mainly vegan and gluten free. Tomorrow I will start the day with a healthy breakfast of steel cut oats with chia seeds and fruit!

Monday, April 29, 2013

Swan Lake

I went to see Swan Lake in Seattle with my two girls and mom. It was beautiful! It was my first time seeing the entire ballet, and I loved it.





Accomplishment is a good feeling

I went to my team practice yesterday morning, determined and mentally prepared. I was able to participate in every drill and finished the whole practice! I left feeling so happy with myself. At one point I fell while doing a drill, and a flood of emotion hit me...fear, frustration, anxiety. But I skated a lap, sucked it up and got back in. I am sore today but it feels so great!

Sunday, April 21, 2013

RollerCon!

I have thought attending RollerCon sounded like so much fun since I heard about it a few years ago. But I wasn't sure if I could swing it this summer. I have been thinking about it for a few days now, and looked again on the website. The MVP passes have all been sold out and I wasn't sure if it would be worth going if I couldn't have access to everything offered. But guess what? There just happened to be some people who turned in their pass for a refund and I was able to buy an MVP pass with my savings!! I am very excited. It is a great motivator to get in better shape too. So, who's going with me??
www.rollercon.com

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Inner voice

Many times starting an exercise program makes me feel worse about myself. I start thinking, mid squat jump or while getting on the ground for push-ups, "How in the world did you get this out of shape!" "Why even bother! Just live with the way you are." Or worse. I hate that voice! I really want to hear a positive, encouraging one that can keep me moving and motivated. Where does that one live? Until I find her, I decided I am going to reward myself immediately after my workouts with a small prize for myself. It can be a hot bath, some time reading, an at home mani or pedi, or time creating something. As long as it is not food or drink related and it is for me, it is allowed.

Don't you just LOVE my mustard yellow bathtub!