Thursday, November 22, 2012

Non jolly holiday

RAD sucks. E was officially diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder this fall. Holidays, fun events, and even weekends are hard and at times make me want to pull my hair out when he rages or pushes buttons. It's mainly directed to me. This morning he told me again that he hates living with me.
When I totally ignore him with no interaction or connection, he seems so much more calm and content. How can a mom not show affection or love to her son?
it breaks my heart.

I found a video that explains a bit more about RAD:

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Fire part 2

We are amazed at the help we have received from friends and strangers since the fire. We had to wait to do any clean up until after the insurance company came out to inspect things. We announced a work party on a rainy Saturday afternoon and we had a surprising amount of people come help. We got most of the debris hauled to the dump. It felt like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders.

We got a settlement check from our insurance for the structure, which was for the total amount we had covered, but about $6,000 less than what we will need to rebuild. The building was considered an outbuilding and not part of our house. We had to come up with a list of contents to get the material possessions reimbursed by insurance. This took me about two weeks. It was 9 pages and about $20,000 worth of stuff. We will get a prepaid visa in the mail for about half that. While I am so thankful for insurance, I feel ripped off. I don't want to complain though, because we have been blessed by friends and strangers alike. Our church arranged for meals to be brought over for six days. My sister told her friends and clients about us and they gave her money, gift cards, art stuff, toys and linens for us. Friends have rounded up things to replace lost items. We have received gifts in the mail from family, friends and strangers. I am amazed by the love we have received.

Since the fire department sent in their report, county zoning and permitting came into the picture. This has been a small nightmare. The rooms we used for the teens can't be called bedrooms unless we get a larger septic tank. The foundation should be dug up and sealed with foam, we need a higher insulation and window rating. I am pretty sure the people who built the studio did not have any permits. We had an electrician come out and figure out what needs to be done. We should be able to apply for a permit next week.

Saturday, November 3, 2012


Two weeks ago we experienced something I would never wish on anyone. A house fire. Our house is a three bedroom, two bath double wide. Right behind it sits a studio building that is about 600 square feet. A few years ago we repurposed the once music recording studio, and made it into a rec room, art space and sewing area. It also had beds for the kids. On a Friday afternoon while I was sitting at the computer at work, I got a call from J. He calmly told me the studio caught on fire and was destroyed. I shrieked out loud and spent some time trying to handle my shock and emotions. I maintained a strange balance between staying calm and freaking out in front of my co-workers. I finished up my newsletter publication and headed home in a rush. I came home to find J, L and C. I felt thankful that the 13 or more emergency responders had left and it was just us left to deal with the aftermath of a very hot electrical fire. So many thoughts were going through my head. I was grateful no one was home or hurt. I was sad for the kids who lost the majority of their possessions. I was curious how my trauma affected children would react to this traumatic event. I was fearful, worried and a huge ball of emotions. We dealt with the insurance company the best we could on a Friday afternoon and tried to go back to as much normalcy as we possibly could that weekend.

To be continued.