Happiness

is:

• checking in to my flight for a four and a half day vacation
• good behavior in church today by ALL children
• chocolate-peanut butter ice cream
• Oh Brother Where Are Thou? soundtrack

Lemonade

An example of how attachment disabled kids can come between parents:

Mom, Dad and three children go out to lunch at a new burger joint.

Dad orders food while Mom and three children sit at a table. Troubled child gets all bent out of shape about the seat he chose to sit in and wants to move. Mom tells him to stay there and he pouts.

Pouting stops after food is in front of him. But not for long. He is upset because Mom does not allow him to drink 20 oz of lemonade in two minutes. Upset because we bought him a grilled cheese sandwich. Upset that Mom does not allow him to dip every inch of french fry AND his hand in ketchup. Doesn't like the way his sandwich tastes, etc. etc.

Mom is irritated because they had just spent over $40 on lunch and troubled child is trying to ruin the outing. Dad is irritated and yells at Mom to "just let him eat, why are you letting him bother you so much?"

Dad leaves table for a few minutes. Everyone is nearly finished eating. Troubled child has a few sips of lemonade left in that 20 oz cup that is now in front of Mom. Mom asks troubled child if he would like the rest of the lemonade. Troubled child glares at Mom and does not answer. Mom asks again. No reply. Mom looks away for a few seconds. Troubled child quickly grabs lemonade from in front of Mom, hides it under other arm and starts to drink the rest.

Oldest son notices the strange behavior and alerts Mom. Mom asks troubled child if he wanted more, why didn't he just say yes? Three sips of lemonade is thrown away. Troubled child cries and makes a scene in burger joint. Mom tries to talk with troubled child but his "crying" gets louder and more noticed by the crowd. Dad comes back to the table and asked what happened. Dad is debriefed. Dad tells troubled child to stop crying and to get his coat on. More wailing while coat is being put on by Dad.

Mom, Dad and three children get in the car. Troubled child "cries" but more like excretes saliva, snot and tears all over himself while making goat like noises. Mom is more than annoyed. Dad again asks Mom why everyone is so upset. Mom explained again. Dad is irritated that Mom is so agitated. Mom asked oldest son to back her up. He does. Everyone is irritated by troubled child. Dad tells Mom to just ignore troubled child and stop talking to him. Mom is irritated that Dad seems irritated at Mom. Mom feels at fault for entire issue, but also just plain angry. Surprisingly, active three year old preschooler got through entire outing without one single issue (besides not wanting to eat sandwich either).

Migraines and such

My C. has been having migraines this week. Every day for nearly seven days. Yesterday and today she has been feeling a bit better, so that is hopeful. It concerns me because it came out of no where. She has never had issues with headaches before now. She goes to the doctor on Monday to discuss this and her ADD medication. She needs to have gained weight since her last check up three months ago.

L is on his way with dad to Grandma's house. They will be leaving tomorrow morning for Florida. I am not far behind them! He is so excited.

We are preparing the back yard for the playground to be set up. We figured out we will need to move our fire pit which will be a bit of work, but it's the only place in the yard where the big set will fit. We also pulled out our ugly rotten deck. It was such a hazard and I couldn't wait to pull it down. Now J. will be working on rebuilding some stairs down from the house. When we have some more money we can build a nice replacement deck or patio. The playground has been ordered and we are thinking it will be put in early May. We will have some volunteers (anyone?) to come out to help set it up and do some celebrating too!

E. and S. had a school conference the other day. Teacher G had a lot of good things to say but also noted some of the areas that concern us too. E. will be trying Kindergarten in the fall. He will enter with an IEP and he may have to go two years in a row if we feel it's best. S. is doing pretty well, with learning classroom rules and routines. He bit a little boy a few weeks ago and we discussed that. He were also told he has a willful side and gives the teachers the stink eye often!

Count down!

I am going away for a few days soon. I can't wait. For a birthday gift, my oldest is going with Grandma, Aunt A and I to Orlando on vacation. My mom likes to travel and loves company. She started taking grandkids on Disney trips when L. was 5. Since the youngest boys are still a bit too young to travel, L. is next in line. And Disney World seemed like a fun place to go, somewhere new! Aunt A and I are tagging along, just cause we don't want to miss out.

L. and Grandma will be gone a full week, and I will only be away for five days. I think it will be a perfect little getaway.

Every day L. is announcing to the family how many days left until his trip. He is so excited to go see the Harry Potter stuff at Universal.

We are also going to Discovery Cove. So exciting.

It's approved!

S's Make A Wish for a playground was approved by his pediatrician. So now we are trying to work on getting a local contractor out to look at the yard and see what needs to be done. I really want to give you a peek of the set S. selected. But that would ruin the final reveal.

Here is the backyard before (taken from our roof):

When we told S. he was going to be getting his playground, he said "Me want a BIG playground!" I think he is going to be one active little guy this summer!

Yuk

Wanted to pass this on from the Washington Poison Center:
During the month of March, in celebration of Poison Prevention Week, we are offering free Mr. Yuk Stickers to educators and organizations in Washington State.

Quantities are limited. Please download our order form here and fax or mail it back to us.

This offer is made possible by a generous donation from our good friends at Bartell Drugs!

What's been going on?

It's been awhile since my last post. My computer crashed. Yes, our two year old imac decided to stop working. We tried all the tricks and needed to take it in to the shop. They discovered the cooling fan stopped working, therefore frying our hard drive. We stupidly had not backed all our files up in a long time. Since we have dial up it's next to impossible to upload to a remote system. So we lost pictures, files, adoption paperwork, tax info, etc. etc. After $250 we were able to get a new fan and hard drive installed. But they were not able to recover our data. I am still sad. I am thankful that I have this blog, we have pictures on here at least!

Make a Wish came out to our house last week. The two volunteers visited and talked with S. and our family. They asked all sorts of questions to get to know him like what his favorite movie is, favorite foods, favorite color, etc. They brought him some gifts too, animal cookies, a John Deere t-shirt and hat, and two new tractor toys. Tractors are S's favorite. He was so excited. For his big wish: a playground. The next step is to wait for doctor approval, to be sure he does not have any medical restrictions. Waiting for the doctor seems like it's taking forever! In the meantime, we were able to pick out a playground from Rainbow Play Systems, and once we get the go ahead from Dr, then the planning begins.

Cookies, pink (as S's request)

S. and his new J.D. stuff

Volunteers for MAW

I finished the CPR/First Aid/BBP training for DSHS. The two oldest kids came too. It was great to get this out of the way, but I found it very informative too. The protocol for CPR has changed, and it's been years since I was trained. I mailed in the last of our paperwork, proof of our pets' vaccinations and J. and my training certificates yesterday. We should be close to a home visit. We also purchased and set up a new crib and fireplace barrier this week. We are nearly ready!

C. got a big part in the musical Annie Jr. at school! She is playing Ms.Hannigan. She is excited, it was her second choice (guess what the first one was?). She practices every friday after school and the play is in June. I can't wait to see her perform.

it's hard

Our two year homecoming anniversary is coming up for E. in just a few days. When I look back at how much he has grown and changed I am so amazed. However, I'm coming to a realization that loving E seems to come easy for everyone except us. Outside of home he is happy, friendly, smiley and funny. His teachers at preschool don't seem to have any discipline problems. He has made a few friends at school. Extended family and friends tend to not see any problems. At home it's another story most of the time. I am praying that this is just a season in his life.

He does ok on days when dad is home. He also does better when the house is full of siblings. But when most are at school and E. is home in the mornings with more attention from me (school is at 12 for him), he doesn't know what to do with himself. He wanders around the house. He whines about everything. I offer to read with him, play with play dough, anything. The only thing that makes him happy is to watch a video, (which I try to keep to a minimum) or eat constantly.

Church has been an issue too, since he knows when to push my buttons. I swear this is what he is thinking:

Mom has been busy and tired all week. This is her one chance to get filled. Dad is up there on the stage leading worship, so he can't do anything. I'm gonna make her life h*ll.

So he does everything in his power to try to do just that. I thought I had found a great way to overcome this issue, a few weeks ago I told him if he is a good boy (with specific expectations) then he can have a piece of rainbow birthday cake afterward. He was an ANGEL. Last Sunday however, this did not work. Maybe he's clueing in. I told him his reward for good behavior was cookies since church was having a mission lunch. Ten minutes in he was uncooperative and disruptive. I had to leave the sanctuary. E. refused to go to his Sunday School class. I finally got him situated but later heard reports of him having a difficult time. During lunch I passed the cookie plate around and skipped over E. He gave me the glare of death.

His siblings pick on him, because it seems like he is always complaining about anything and everything. He most often spoils family time. He is always lurking, staring, hanging around. When I was making lunch for C. this morning it was like he was drooling over the food. So I put a handful of almonds at his place at the table and smiled warmly at him. He frowned at me and said, "I'm not gonna eat that."

During playtime he spins around the room, tripping over toys, furniture or people. He wiggles and wobbles through space with his hands and arms flinging around. He does strange things like walking around with dirty socks on his head and when asked why he responds, "Decause it's funny! (insert fake giggle) He can't regulate himself and spirals out of control when he does start to enjoy playtime. A good time playing hide and seek turns into someone getting hurt because he's running around the house yelling and giggling uncontrollably.

This morning was no different. E wandered around the house. I suggested he play in his room. He cried and whined. He got a stuffed animal, took it by the arm and swung it over his head while spinning in circles. I asked him not to do that since this specific animal was losing it's stitching. He got a truck, and pushed it on the floor, with all of his weight on the toy. It's one of the surviving cars we own like this since the others' wheels had collapsed from the weight. I checked on him after a few minutes. He sat there, listening to the car squeak and groan under pressure. He looked up at me and said, "Look mom, I'm playing!"

The long awaited lunch came (he lives to eat), and he took forever eating the sandwich his brother made him. It was a different type of bread, with nuts in it. (my ploy to keep myself from eating bread, since I am allergic to nuts!) He took a REALLY long time eating it, after picking apart the filling and slice of bread. He complained and gagged.

A lot of these behaviors may seem like they are typical for a 4/5 year old. Or that they are really nothing to make a deal about. But trust me, after watching him try to fit in, cope with daily life, and try to annoy or sabotage relationships or situations nearly all the time, we've started to realize this is not normal.

Then today, we had a few minutes to spare before the bus came. I called E to me to snuggle him before he left. He frowned and whined, "why do I have to do this???". I tried my best to love him and explained that giving and getting hugs makes you feel nice. "Doesn't this feel nice?" No response. Then I said, "E, I love you." No response. I asked, "Do you love me?" With more whines, he told me no. I asked if he liked me... no. I told him that it hurt my feelings and made me sad that he said he doesn't like or love me. He asked why. Then hid a smile.

getting ready

Last week we were busy during J's days off getting things taken care of. A lot of the items on the list were things we needed to do anyway, like get the pets vaccinations current and gather immunization records for the kids. We also should have bought a wood stove barrier/gate a long time ago, when S was a baby. We had a makeshift screen set up around it as a visual barrier but it is easily knocked over or moved.

We turned in the water sample, got the vaccinations for pets and kids taken care of, ordered a crib and fireplace barrier online, and found a great deal on clothes at a local thrift store ($5 a bag). I think all the needed paperwork is turned in, they just need to receive our fingerprint clearances.

We still need to:

• Pick up and set up crib
• Pick up and set up fireplace barrier
• Buy a 5 lb fire extinguisher (2A10BC-rated ABC)
• Take the CPR/First Aid class

After the licensor receives all this she will set up the home visit.