Swan Lake

I went to see Swan Lake in Seattle with my two girls and mom. It was beautiful! It was my first time seeing the entire ballet, and I loved it.

Accomplishment is a good feeling

I went to my team practice yesterday morning, determined and mentally prepared. I was able to participate in every drill and finished the whole practice! I left feeling so happy with myself. At one point I fell while doing a drill, and a flood of emotion hit me...fear, frustration, anxiety. But I skated a lap, sucked it up and got back in. I am sore today but it feels so great!

RollerCon!

I have thought attending RollerCon sounded like so much fun since I heard about it a few years ago. But I wasn't sure if I could swing it this summer. I have been thinking about it for a few days now, and looked again on the website. The MVP passes have all been sold out and I wasn't sure if it would be worth going if I couldn't have access to everything offered. But guess what? There just happened to be some people who turned in their pass for a refund and I was able to buy an MVP pass with my savings!! I am very excited. It is a great motivator to get in better shape too. So, who's going with me??
www.rollercon.com

Inner voice

Many times starting an exercise program makes me feel worse about myself. I start thinking, mid squat jump or while getting on the ground for push-ups, "How in the world did you get this out of shape!" "Why even bother! Just live with the way you are." Or worse. I hate that voice! I really want to hear a positive, encouraging one that can keep me moving and motivated. Where does that one live? Until I find her, I decided I am going to reward myself immediately after my workouts with a small prize for myself. It can be a hot bath, some time reading, an at home mani or pedi, or time creating something. As long as it is not food or drink related and it is for me, it is allowed.

Don't you just LOVE my mustard yellow bathtub!

Snow, rain, crab benedict and tats

This morning I woke up early and met my mom for a late birthday breakfast at The Mount Bakery Cafe. I have been dreaming about trying their Eggs Benedict for a long time now. They had a crab benny special served on a savory Belgium waffle. Mmm, mmm. After breakfast we headed to a used bookstore where I found a few books, but I'm more excited about the vintage buttons I scored!

My mom tried to convince me to head to the Farmer's Market with her but it was so cold and wet, and even snowing on the drive home!

Today is the third bout for my team Tough Love. I have still not skated in a bout/game. I was injured and then out of town, so I really would be putting myself at a greater risk of injury if I played full contact right now. I will be working hard this month and next so maybe at the May 11th bout I will make the roster! (Probably shouldn't eat any more eggs benny though.)

Thinking about derby, and my lack of enthusiasm lately, my mind went to the tradition of the "fresh meat" tattoo. It is one that many players get their first year of a steak. I'm really not excited about that idea, and being not one of tradition, I am thinking of getting a wolf tattoo. Our recently retired coach (who is also a hockey player) liked to quote a hockey coach, "The legs feed the wolf". I think that is a little more inspiring that a slab of meat.

A love(hateRAD) poem

He may never pick me a dandelion
It's a challenge for him to give a kiss

He doesn't ask for help
Or trust when offered advice

He doesn't listen to answers I give
He would rather ask others instead

He wants to tie his own shoes
And takes a million years to get ready for school

He sneaks, lies, lurks
Looking, watching, but missing

He only shows emotion when angry
Or when served dessert

He rarely connects with anyone
Unless it's in a superficial way

He lives to annoy
And gets annoyed with everything

Many don't see it, or understand
They see his cute smile, or silly laugh
And think everything is ok

I know somewhere deep down he does love
But fear pushes love aside

Praying time and understanding will eventually break the cycle

Then, we both can feel.

I love this

http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=HRR8p5bmY0c&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DHRR8p5bmY0c

I can't figure out from my cell phone how to properly link this, but you should copy and paste into your browser and watch this 4 minute movie about why I do what I do.

Why do my birthdays always disappoint?

Nearly every year when my birthday rolls around, I feel sad, letdown and disappointed. I was kind of glad I was out of town this year, so I would have very few expectations. But even so, I am still disappointed. I believe no matter how old, a birthday girl should be showered with gifts. I received two, from my sister in law and my mother in law. Also a couple cards, and flowers sent to me (which broke my heart I had to leave in the hotel room). And I got a combination gift for our vow renewal.

So I guess I feel unloved. Which is silly because there is nothing I really need, and I would rather be treated to a fun activity any day. But I feel like I missed out on that too. And I feel guilty for feeling this way. I certainly know I have so much more than many others. I am thankful for the people in my life and the things God has blessed me with. I am just sad, and just wanted to express it somehow.

Now the baby is awake and I am sad I missed another day to try to sleep in. I have been exhausted lately. My eyes are tired and constantly bloodshot. I have no energy and feel like I am in a big fog. Oh, poor me. I think I will shed a few tears in my pillow.

Happy birthday E!

Today E is 7 years old! We had a fun day at church, out to lunch and ice cream sundays at home.

Heartbeat Conference

I am at the airport ready to board my plane to get home. I have been away too long, since Monday. The Heartbeat Intl. Conference started on Wednesday, and we had the final banquet last night. I have meet some amazing, inspiring and strong women and men from all around the world this week. I am so excited about the things I have learned about marketing for pregnancy clinics, how to support and love women, men and families, and much more. My travel buddy Kim and I had a great time, often staying up way too late talking. I wish the weather would have been better; we didn't feel like venturing out into the unknown city with the cold, rainy weather. When it did finally warm up a little, we were in conferences all day. I hope the sun follows us home!

Oh, and J did the sweetest thing for my birthday! He had roses delivered to my room as a surprise. One yellow rose since I was in Texas.

Inspiring

From now on, I am going to grab the good times with both arms. I am going to walk outside and feel the sun on my face and learn to laugh, really laugh again.
Most of all, I'm going to take the love that comes my way and hold on to it for dear life. Sometimes we don't need new scenery, just new eyes.

-Dawn Miller

My 37th year

To Do/My Bucket List:
1. Be joyful.
2. Be more creative.
3. Journal every day for a full year.
4. Be healthy and fit.
5. Don't waste a minute.
6. Read the bible/pray daily.
7. Take the whole family on a vacation.
8. Be open to trying new things.
9. Do the Polar Bear Plunge.
10. Run a 5k.

Today is my birthday

Today I am 37. THIRTY-SEVEN! I say that not out of excitement. I can't believe I am that old. In my head I feel like I'm in my late twenties.

We had our vow renewal and celebration and it went so well. I was really happy with all the details coming together and am so thankful for the friends and family who helped out and came to celebrate with us.

We spent four nights is Las Vegas and had a great time! I was so glad to have that time to rejuvenate and be with J.

Now I am in Dallas, Texas with a co-worker for the Heartbeat International conference. I had the weekend at home before I took off again on Monday morning. I had a nice day to myself yesterday while my friend had workshops. I was so proud of myself for spending time working out in my room and at the fitness center!

I have a lot of things swimming through my head that I want to accomplish during my thirty-seventh year. I want to share with you but I am off to register for the week!