Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Why do my birthdays always disappoint?

Nearly every year when my birthday rolls around, I feel sad, letdown and disappointed. I was kind of glad I was out of town this year, so I would have very few expectations. But even so, I am still disappointed. I believe no matter how old, a birthday girl should be showered with gifts. I received two, from my sister in law and my mother in law. Also a couple cards, and flowers sent to me (which broke my heart I had to leave in the hotel room). And I got a combination gift for our vow renewal.

So I guess I feel unloved. Which is silly because there is nothing I really need, and I would rather be treated to a fun activity any day. But I feel like I missed out on that too. And I feel guilty for feeling this way. I certainly know I have so much more than many others. I am thankful for the people in my life and the things God has blessed me with. I am just sad, and just wanted to express it somehow.

Now the baby is awake and I am sad I missed another day to try to sleep in. I have been exhausted lately. My eyes are tired and constantly bloodshot. I have no energy and feel like I am in a big fog. Oh, poor me. I think I will shed a few tears in my pillow.

No comments: