Hope

Today I want to share about something I have been living (mostly secretly) with for a long time. Depression. It creeps over me like a dark grey cloud and through the slight transparencies I can see hope on some days. On the very dark days, I am hope-less. I feel guilt for these feelings of being useless, sad and dull. I don't really know why I feel this way, and it is so difficult to answer loved ones when they ask me why I am depressed. The only answer I can give is "I don't know".

For those who know me well, I have a futuristic strength (I learned this from the book "Strengths Finder" by Tom Rath). I'm a visionary; a dreamer. I look often to the future and the positive changes that will come. The weakness of this strength is that sometimes I don't take the time to live in this moment. I have so many hopes, dreams, goals and ambitions. They are all swimming chaotically inside my head. Many times I feel overwhelmed with all that I would like to do, but I don't find the time to start something. Daily life and distractions get in the way, but more often the dark cloud called Depression will haunt me and swallow my dreams with discouragement.

The cloud has been darkening over my days for a few years now. It has slowly, over the last ten years, become dense and thick and I can barely see through it. I live my days with regret, worthless feelings and intense anger. It's effected every aspect of my life; my family, friends, work and hobbies. 

There is however, hope to come. I thank God for this futuristic strength He has given me. The many things I want for my future can be reached. Hope through Him is far stronger than the dark cloud of Depression. While it feels like breaking through the low laying layers of grey is going to take months of work; the glimmer of light on the distant mountain is worth the climb.

Baptized

My 11 year old girly got baptized tonight! I am so proud of her and thankful for her love for her Savior. 

Retreat

It has been years since I was able to join the ladies from my church for a women's retreat. Ours was last weekend and although it was only for one night, I was renewed. We had a smaller group than normal, but such a wonderful collection of women. We enjoyed bible studies led by a guest speaker, Cindi Rushane from Calvary Chapel Lake Stevens. We played Dutch Blitz, slept in a lovely lodge, ate wonderful food, talked, prayed, hiked, napped, enjoyed creation and each other. I was very blessed.

Free spirit

I have been in a dark place spiritually the past six month or so. I had little desire to attend church services, pray or read the bible.

Last night I was able to let go of some things and was able to spend some meaningful time in prayer and meditation. I am so thankful for His forgiveness and acceptance to welcome me back!

let go

Six months ago we were faced with some very difficult problems after struggling to bring Mercy home from Uganda.

1. We tried for months to get a court date.
2. We got a court date and were refused to be seen by the judge, and any other judge in the capital, where they have a family court division.
3. We could not get a court date in the smaller town where Mercy was from, after trying for weeks.
4. I needed to be home with my family after a total of nine weeks being gone. My mother in law who was staying with the kids needed to return home across the state to her husband and her job. She was not able to come stay with them again later.
5. Mercy's caregiver who needed to be present in court and the visa appointment was going out of the country for a month and the holidays meant courts were closed.
6. Families who had filed for full adoption where having a difficult time, and the legal guardianship process was now moving smoothly. We filed for full adoption based on her medical needs.
7. We had no more money for traveling back and forth.
8. We were noticing some BIG behavior/attachment issues. More than we first realized. Stuff that we were unsure we could handle.

So while I sat alone in my room in Uganda counting down the days for my return flight home, I felt like a veil had been lifted from my eyes. I realized, maybe God is saying NO.

I came home from Uganda, alone without the little girl we had hoped for. Our family was able to rest and pray and make a very hard decision. I had many debates going through my head, the biggest one was how do we know what was God's will or our will? Was it really God's will for us to adopt Mercy, or was it our own? I had reached out to other adoptive friends to ask for prayer and advice. A few had arguments that it could never be God's will for Mercy to remain in Uganda and not get the help she needed. They said we should fight harder, that we would always regret the decision should we chose to give up. We would be letting satan win.

Surprisingly though, many people were supportive of us if we decided to let go. Some were friends who were professionals in the adoption field, and others were parents who have struggled with children suffering from RAD and other problems. We asked our pastors, church friends and others to pray for wisdom for us. We spent nearly a month in prayer and finally had to let people know what we felt God was telling us to do.

The toughest part of breaking the news was telling Mercy's caregiver. I typed the email and sent it, knowing it would break many hearts. So much time and effort was put into getting paperwork ready. Sharing the news with friends was difficult too. So many people had walked along side us on the journey, praying, helping financially and at home while I was away. I felt like I was a quitter, giving in.

A good friend sent me a note saying "Guilt is not from God." It made me feel so much better. And the many months of healing began. The guilty feelings melted away and things began to feel right again. I felt as if a weight had been lifted that had been there for over 12 months. I can remember the day I first felt that weight: the day they said "yes, you can adopt Mercy". It was exciting and scary. I wasn't sure how we would afford the expenses and travel, or how we would be able to leave the kids for at least a month. After reading the email with the news, I went to take my morning shower and cried out to the Lord, in fear, apprehension and anxiousness. I asked Him if he was really sure this is what we were supposed to do. I don't recall ever getting a confirmation from Him. And I think this is where we failed.

We moved on, pushed forward and went ahead. Mercy needed help and we were here wanting to provide it. We were excited to add to our family and we blindly went through the process. I felt like J's quick agreement to move forward with another adoption was a sure sign this was meant to be, since he was usually slower to agree to big things like this. But through the long wait process and the lengthy time in Uganda, I don't recall ever feeling like God had promised Mercy to us. I was uneasy the entire time. I wasn't sure if it was the right time to add to our family. I was not sure about the needs Mercy would have. But I felt like since things lined up just right for us to travel, funds were raised and donated, and we were so emotionally invested, we were surely doing the right thing.

So, after the decision was made, the email was sent to Uganda to Mercy's caregiver at the orphanage and to our attorney, after we cried and talked and prayed, after we broke news to friends, family and church, after explaining many times to our children why Mercy would not be coming home, and after so much time has gone by I still dream of Mercy and Uganda. I had a wonderful time getting to know some wonderful kids. I experienced a beautiful country and met some awesome friends. My husband and I had several weeks to spend together. I had a lot of time to study the bible and pray. God had a purpose for me going there, He refined me.

Thankfully, I no longer feel guilty. I no longer feel heartbroken. I feel peace. I feel God's plan was different than ours, that His plan is better than ours. I am excited to see what He has for us.

But I still. miss. Mercy. I don't think I ever felt like she was ours. She is God's, and I feel like she is right where He wants her to be.

If you want to read about the process and trips, click on Africa in the labels section of the sidebar.

God provides, right?

Lately we have had a rough time with things needing our attention. Appliances, cars, bills, household repairs, etc, etc. It seems like it is all piling up, and we don't have the extra cash to fix or attend to them all. My mama told me not to talk about financial hardships on the internet. But I bet there are a LOT of people having financial issues right now! And I bet those people are not judging me because we struggle like MANY, right? Lets face it, we are a one income family with five children.

Right now I can think of nine big household issues that keep me awake at night. Really it shouldn't, people can live without these things and do fine. I am reminded of this book I checked out from the library once. Talk about eye opening!

But boy would my life be easier if we had a working dryer and dishwasher.

I keep praying for God to provide for us and bless us with the means to replace or repair some of these nagging things. But I am not sure if He will. Honestly, I wonder if I really have enough faith that He will. I somehow feel like these are things I should be able to control or help myself. I also wonder if maybe He is trying to teach us something by going without. However, Matthew 6:25-27 says:

Do Not Worry

²⁵ “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? ²⁶ Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷ Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life^[a]?

But these things we think are needs are really not in the big picture of life.

I am not sure where I am going with this and need to stop rambling and get some things done before bed. Thoughts are welcome!

Counting blessings

I wanted to form some sort of list on this blog to keep track of things that God has blessed our family with. We went into the adoption process with no savings designated toward adoption expenses. One of the BIGGEST concerns J had with adopting was money. I don't think it was just the initial costs he was worried about, but providing for more children until they're able to provide for themselves. My argument was for faith, trust and hope that God would provide for us. And you know what? He has. (...and so has Visa, MC, and American Express) Because of credit card use to pay off adoption related costs, life's a struggle sometimes, but one that only makes our faith grow stronger. It really helps when we look back at all He has blessed us with. If you go on the top of the blog you will see pages/tabs under the photo. Click on Provisions and you will get to witness God providing for our family.

Emotions

I am dealing with emotions of all kinds lately:

Excitement for the year ahead.
Uncertainty about how to cope with daily life.
Confusion about why things happen a certain way.
Fear for my son's health and future.
Loneliness.
Sadness about what has happened with Mercy.
Guilt for not trying harder.
Happiness when spending quality time with my children and husband.
Anger at myself for overeating and having poor self control.
Overwhelmed with having a hectic, busy, dirty, chaotic house.
Worried about my children.
Embarrassed to go to the gym and work out.
Frustrated at the ignorance of some people.
Anxious about our finances.
Irritation from problem children.
Enraged by said children's behavior at times.
Exhausted most of the day.
Hopeful.

I feel like I can keep all these emotions
contained and pushed down inside for a while...
and then

I open my daughter's backpack and

POP, out shoots the cork

and emotions spill all over the place.

I am not really sure what emotion I was feeling when I saw this.

Thankfully the kids were in bed, the hubby was working overtime

and I was able to just lay in bed and cry, and pray, letting those emotions out for a bit.

Ways to Celebrate

I was on facebook today when I saw my friends, Beth and Jeremy Howard in Uganda, posted some great links. I checked them out and was moved. to tears. I have a lot of emotions going on lately, but this just convicted me. I am already excited about the Advent Conspiracy site.

The whole idea is to worship fully, spend less, give more, love all. To spend quality time with those you love, help serve, and give to those in need.

• We have been spending less this Christmas, that is for sure. Everyone is getting one gift from us, and kids are drawing names between siblings. Things are simple and easy.
• We have enjoyed spending time together as a family this holiday season. We have enjoyed watching Christmas movies together, cooking and eating, playing games, singing, dancing, listening to Christmas music, reading, doing small crafts, and putting on little puppet shows.
• We have given a bit to those in need (we could always do more). We put together a shoebox for Operation Christmas Child. We gave to a local food drive. We are doing an angel tree gift. J. helped with a shopping trip for local kids in need. We sponsor a child in Africa through Compassion.
• I feel we are lacking on the worship end of things. Of course my children know the reason we celebrate Christmas. We have a nativity scene on our piano and we have a birthday cake for Jesus every year. We go to church, and the kids are in a play. But what about TRUE worship, TRUE sacrifice?

Check out these sites:

http://www.aholyexperience.com/2010/11/christmas-its-just-deciding-whose-birthday-it-really-is/

"It was dark, I do remember that. Bedtime. Smoothing back hair, kissing foreheads. One round moon hanging large outside the window, an ornament dangling off stars, decorating the night. I had gifts to wrap. So, pull up the blankets. Prayers. And then, when I’m at the door, one hand on the doorframe, resting in the light of the hallway, I turn to close the door a bit on the dark and he stops me with just one question:

“What does Jesus get for His birthday?”

The words hung… strung me up.

I say the words into the black. Um… A cake? Our love?

I can hear him turn again in the bed, roll over on the pillow. Restless…

“But Mom…. if we get wrapped presents for our birthdays, real sacrifices from people who love us — they gave up other things to give something to us — then why don’t we do that for Jesus’ birthday?”

I stand at the door looking into all that light cast down the hallway.

Why is the sky blue, why do we blink, how do clouds hold all that water, the children ask me a thousand questions and the world spins dizzy on a million questions I don’t know the answers to and I stand in the dark, the light right there, and I grope for the answer that could change the world…

“Why don’t we give up things so we can give to Jesus for His birthday?”

Is it always this way, that a little child will lead them?

He was four or five that year, I can’t remember. I just know that now he’s fifteen and I stepped out into the light and we’ve done all the Christmases since his way, giving away. It’s not at all wrong to do it differently, but just for us… all the Christmas gifts — gifts for the Christ Child."

Read the entire post please!

And this post:

http://www.christmaschange.com/wordpress/2010/12/03/ten-things-to-do-on-christmas-morning-when-all-the-gifts-are-for-him/

Ten Things to Do on Christmas Morning When all the Gifts are for Him

1. Birthday for Breakfast

Serve Birthday Cake for Breakfast — with ice cream and an arch of balloons and birthday hats and light the candles and sing of wondrous grace! He has come! And for us!

Our tradition is angel food cake for the birthday cake — made with freshly ground wheat — and I think of the wheat that fell to the ground, died for us and the harvest of the many.

2. Sup with Him — Feast Fit for a King

And we make breakfast a feast fit for a king. One of our best meals of the year is reserved for Christmas breakfast — recipes we serve only for Christmas Morning Breakfast —- Victorian French Toast with whip cream and fresh fruit and a cranberry raspberry slushy drink and Sausage bake and orange juice and pineapple and we decorate with floating candles and and a nativity scene center piece and our best linens.

He’s invited us to His table, adopted us, made us one of His own— and we have time to come, to say yes to His invitation!

3. Gifts for Him, the Birthday Child

After breakfast, we gather together to give gifts to the birthday babe, the King Come—- and these are all gifts to the least of these, because Jesus Himself said, when you give to the least of these, you give to me, so we pick out more gifts from His catalogues. We don’t open presents but we open a far deeper joy.

One family writes of their creative Christmas mornings of giving Christmas gifts only to Jesus:

On Christmas morning this year, we had our oldest dress up as a wise man, and he went around the house, finding tin foil stars and taking the gifts he found there to the baby Jesus that we had in the living room. It was great! We plan to five the same kinds of gifts to Jesus this year...

What a creative way for kids, the whole family, to celebrate Christmas morning– tinfoil stars that have notes of donation to the least of these, a boy dressed up as a wise man, really worshipping!

It sounds, yes, terrifying, to not exchange gifts on Christmas morning, it did to me —- but the utter and unadulterated joy we unwrapped in giving away to those Jesus says He’s with, the poor.And we discovered all that He is absolutely true to His word: it is always better to give than to receive. And when we give to them we are giving to Him, it leaves us filled and satisfied in the realest sense.

Satisfied that everything fits and nothing will be returned and no batteries are needed for we have done the one thing that is needful — touched the hem of God, murmured adoration and offered up gifts to Him.

4. Serve Him a Meal

A loaf of fresh bread to an elderly neighbor spending his first Christmas alone, a still-in-the-dark cup of coffee and an egg sandwich delivered downtown to a homeless person, ladling bowls in a soup kitchen at lunch time, delivering sticky buns and a hug to the family who buried a child this year, gifting all the neighborhood with cookies and a card rejoicing in Christ come —- serve Christ a meal this Christmas, bread of heaven come down for all the hungry.

5. Invite Him In

It may be a single relative in need of a welcoming hearth, a lonely person from your faith community, a widow from down the road, a grieving friend, a lonely stranger, but to invite someone in need to His party because Christ who came to a world that had no room in the inn now calls all to come and He calls us to His kind of hospitality.

We have done this and this is His party and this is who He wants to come — the one who feels as unwanted as He did when He came to us. So we open the door and say come and celebrate with those He came for…

6. Give Yourself Talent Show

We know a family who gives the only gift we ever can really give, the gift of ourselves, by offering a little Christmas Day Talent Show. He does a crazy little tap dance — and everyone laughs —- and she joins him —- and everyone howls. What can you give of yourself to offer to Jesus, your family, on Christmas morning?

7. Join all of Creation

We spend hours outdoors on Christmas day, joining all of Creation and the heavenly throng in giving Him praise. We walk through the bush and sing Christmas carols, we go sledding down the back hills, we play in the snow and we laugh. We’ve decorated trees outside with treats, strings of popcorn and cranberry, suet and peanut butter and, if the conditions are right, it’s the one day of the year that we pour maple syrup over snow and eat taffy — we taste and see that the Lord is good!

8. Tell the Story

Over the years, we’ve told the Christmas story on Christmas morning with cousins and kids getting dressed up and re-enacting it for us, with kids written-performed-directed puppet show, with blankets and spotlight and silhouettes. Old men have been Joseph and toddlers have been Mary and this is the story that we love to tell — to remember the gift who came.

9. Sing the Hallelujah Chorus

Sing it in the woods, on the streets, in a nursing home, a hospital hall, a prison lounge, around the piano with the family, for the next door neighbors, a shut in across town. We join the angels this day and we fill the world with the music of the Messiah here. Find a way, somewhere, to sing because isn’t this the day of all days, we need to sing?

10. Follow the Light

And come Christmas night, we follow the light and some years it’s outside in the woods, luminaries, candles in jars, lighting a path to a nativity scene and we sing worship in the deepening dark, and some windy years, its filling the house with candles and spending the last hours of Christmas day singing glory, glory, glory, glory to God in the Highest.

Great ideas and reminders of what we need to be doing this Christmas season. I love it. I think we will have having a family meeting tonight to brainstorm ideas.

A timely study

I am doing a bible study by Focus on the Family (women's series) called Balanced Living. God has used this to speak to me in just the right moment!
"When you read this bible verse (Jeremiah 29:11) and insert the Hebrew definitions it reads as follows:

For I know the purpose that I am planning for you; the purpose is for completeness, soundness, welfare and peace. The ultimate purpose of your life is not distress, misery, injury or calamity. It is to give you hope and something to expect in the after part- posterity and your reward.

If God's purpose is to bring us to completion and to give us soundness, welfare and peace, then perhaps we are not trapped in our present situation, but planted. God uses difficult circumstances to teach us contentment and to bring us closer to Him. We can say that we want to change and that we want to love God more, but He knows that without His help change is virtually impossible. Who of us will push ourselves to grow or mature on command? We can't! It's always a process. God uses our circumstances to help shape us into the women He designed us to be. Are you willing to let God have complete control of the process?"


Jeremiah 29: 12- 14
"In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. I will be found by you, says the Lord. I will end your captivity and restore your fortunes. I will gather you out of the nations where I sent you and will bring you home again to your own land."

Summer is here

Finally we are enjoying some nice weather! We had a great time camping. We were close enough to home that we could home here for some laundry, lunch, nap time, etc. We camped from Tuesday night, until Sunday morning. We came home and slept in our beds one night, but other than that we made it!!! The kids loved being out there, since they had a few friends to play with and an amazing playground with room to run. They roasted marshmallows for Smores a few nights and went snipe hunting a few nights too! K. got to sleep in her friend's trailer a couple nights, which made more room in the tent for us! I was freezing the first few nights, so on one trip home we grabbed a heating pad, plugged it in and it really helped warm us up.

On the fourth, J. had to work. We had a bbq with friends, then came home early to rest up. I was not planning on going anywhere, I was TIRED! Then out of the blue, J. called to say he was going to get off work by 9pm. What a blessing. He drove home, took a few of the older kids with him to watch a fireworks display from the work rooftop while I vegged and the younger kids went to bed.

Now that camping is over, the sun came out. We are having a heat wave baby! It is nice but a little too warm for my liking, since we have no AC. But I don't think this hot weather will last much more than a few days.

Speaking of heat, please pray for my son L. He is leaving for Tecate on Sunday. They are expecting temps over 100 degrees. I am hoping and praying he takes good care of himself and that he will come back a changed and more spiritually mature young man. He will be there a week, helping with church projects and doing a VBS program with the youth there. Keep him and the team in your prayers please!

My little girls are spending four days with my parents and attending an art day camp. Check out the artist's blog. Look where they traveled last year! Too bad they didn't write too much about their visit to the country we will be visiting soon. I spoke to them briefly about it yesterday, but had to run since the little boys were waiting. They seem like a very nice couple. The girls are having a blast!

As for M: She got some blood work done but I have not had much help with finding someone with medical expertise to read the results. I have sent them off to several people, and hoping to hear something soon. It doesn't look too hopeful to get the travel date before courts close next week. Please pray that we can still get a date soon, I hear they open again mid August. I really don't want to wait too much longer than that!! I am almost tempted to just buy tickets to come over then anyway, but we can't be gone too long. Please pray for some clear answers and direction for little M. And for her health and development.

Well, off to tackle some laundry and pack for L. It's super quiet right now with nap time, girls gone and some kids with Dad!

What I learned in Children's Church today

1 Kings 17

Elijah Fed by Ravens

¹ Now Elijah the Tishbite, from Tishbe in Gilead, said to Ahab, "As the LORD, the God of Israel, lives, whom I serve, there will be neither dew nor rain in the next few years except at my word."

² Then the word of the LORD came to Elijah: ³ "Leave here, turn eastward and hide in the Kerith Ravine, east of the Jordan. ⁴ You will drink from the brook, and I have ordered the ravens to feed you there."

⁵ So he did what the LORD had told him. He went to the Kerith Ravine, east of the Jordan, and stayed there. ⁶ The ravens brought him bread and meat in the morning and bread and meat in the evening, and he drank from the brook.

To go with today's bible lesson was this verse:

He provides food for those who fear him. Psalm 111:5

Well, I already knew this story but what a great reminder for me today! I worked in Children's Church this morning and really enjoyed this.

It is hard to remember at times how much God loves us, and will bless those who obey Him. Adoption can be so hard. Often I feel like people who have not been through it do not understand how difficult and draining it can be. I feel isolated and lonely because I don't want to complain to others about the hard times. I do not wish to discourage people from considering adoption. It is truly a blessing, but can also be so challenging. One of the things that is hard is finances. Raising a large family costs a lot! But we must fully rely on God to provide. And he does! We NEVER thought we would be where we are today. We thought we were done after our third child. Funny how the Lord has such different plans than we did. But we have obeyed and He has blessed us, far beyond financially.

A good morning.

^Update:

^{We did hear from our lawyer, confirming that things are moving up!!! He asked us to wait another week to see how things work out, and meanwhile he will be working on our case!}

^{Happy St. Patrick's Day. I don't believe I have a drop of Irish in my blood, but it's still a fun day. The kids were excited to dress in green, and C.'s school is doing pajama day today.}

I am feeling very happy and hopeful today. I am optimistic that we will be seeing our little girl in the near future. No word confirming this from our lawyer, but I am trusting and holding fast. Please keep praying for our adoption!!

Psalm 145

^{1 I will exalt you, my God the King;}

I will praise your name for ever and ever.

² Every day I will praise you
and extol your name for ever and ever.

³ Great is the LORD and most worthy of praise;
his greatness no one can fathom.

⁴ One generation will commend your works to another;
they will tell of your mighty acts.

⁵ They will speak of the glorious splendor of your majesty,
and I will meditate on your wonderful works.

⁶ They will tell of the power of your awesome works,
and I will proclaim your great deeds.

⁷ They will celebrate your abundant goodness
and joyfully sing of your righteousness.

⁸ The LORD is gracious and compassionate,
slow to anger and rich in love.

⁹ The LORD is good to all;
he has compassion on all he has made.

Philippians Update

I did not make my goal for the week... I memorized this much:

¹ THIS LETTER IS FROM PAUL AND TIMOTHY, SLAVES OF CHRIST JESUS.

I AM WRITING TO ALL OF GOD’S HOLY PEOPLE IN PHILIPPI WHO BELONG TO CHRIST JESUS, INCLUDING THE ELDERS AND DEACONS.

² MAY GOD OUR FATHER AND THE LORD JESUS CHRIST GIVE YOU GRACE AND PEACE.

³ EVERY TIME I THINK OF YOU, I GIVE THANKS TO MY GOD.

My goal for next week will not be as ambitious. Here's the next segment:

⁴WHENEVER I PRAY, I MAKE MY REQUESTS FOR ALL OF YOU WITH JOY,⁵ FOR YOU HAVE BEEN MY PARTNERS IN SPREADING THE GOOD NEWS ABOUT CHRIST FROM THE TIME YOU FIRST HEARD IT UNTIL NOW.⁶AND I AM CERTAIN THAT GOD, WHO BEGAN THE GOOD WORK WITHIN YOU, WILL CONTINUE HIS WORK UNTIL IT IS FINALLY FINISHED ON THE DAY WHEN CHRIST JESUS RETURNS.

Memorizing Philippians

Someone on Facebook posted this link challenging us to join in memorizing the book of Philippians. I read the link, and thought to myself, "no way". I kept coming across the link and felt more and more convicted to do this. I will do it! If you want to join me, pray for me, or give some memorizing pointers, leave a comment.

The first segment to memorize by next week:

(New Living Translation)

Philippians 1

¹ This letter is from Paul and Timothy, slaves of Christ Jesus.

I am writing to all of God’s holy people in Philippi who belong to Christ Jesus, including the elders and deacons.

² May God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ give you grace and peace.

³ Every time I think of you, I give thanks to my God. ⁴ Whenever I pray, I make my requests for all of you with joy,⁵ for you have been my partners in spreading the Good News about Christ from the time you first heard it until now.⁶ And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.

⁷ So it is right that I should feel as I do about all of you, for you have a special place in my heart. You share with me the special favor of God, both in my imprisonment and in defending and confirming the truth of the Good News. ⁸God knows how much I love you and long for you with the tender compassion of Christ Jesus.

⁹ I pray that your love will overflow more and more, and that you will keep on growing in knowledge and understanding. ¹⁰ For I want you to understand what really matters, so that you may live pure and blameless lives until the day of Christ’s return. ¹¹ May you always be filled with the fruit of your salvation—the righteous character produced in your life by Jesus Christ for this will bring much glory and praise to God.

The Message

"'...I was hungry and you fed me, I was thirsty and you gave me a drink, I was homeless and you gave me a room, I was shivering and you gave me clothes, I was sick and you stopped to visit, I was in prison and you came to me...I'm telling the solemn truth: Whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was me—you did it to me.'" -Jesus speaking in Matthew 25:34-40 (The Message)

Psalm 100

Shout with joy to the Lord, all the earth!

Worship the Lord with gladness.

Come before him, singing with joy.

Acknowledge that the Lord is God!

He made us, and we are his.

We are his people, the sheep of his pasture.

Enter his gates with thanksgiving;

go into his courts with praise.

Give thanks to him and praise his name.

For the Lord is good.

His unfailing love continues forever,

and his faithfulness continues to each generation.

Control

the kids playing in the woods

I have been feeling like an airplane spiraling out of control these last few weeks. The adoption process, dealing with a very busy toddler and a preschooler, and the whole schooling issue has been a lot. I feel like my house is always dirty, the kids are never getting along, our daughter in Africa will never come home, and no one is ever happy. I know that is not true, but it's how I feel. I love God's promises in His word:

Matthew 11:28-30

²⁸"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ²⁹Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

For today, my goals are

• spend time in God's word
• take a nap
• clean, declutter and childproof (even more) the living room
• pray for my husband