Tuesday, July 28, 2009

My heart breaks


I was given this link by a friend about PTSD in adopted children. Thank you so much for this!  I read it and do see some things that are related to E.'s behavior.  But this paragraph stood out to me the most:

Because a human infant is totally dependent on her mother for survival, one of the most traumatic events an infant can experience is abandonment in a public place under dangerous circumstances. She will literally fear for her life. To then live in an orphanage, where care is routine at best, and neglectful and abusive at its worst, can only add to the trauma. Daniel Hughes, PhD, author of several books on attachment, calls neglect "the trauma of absence." While many assume that abuse is far more traumatic than neglect, we now know that neglect is equally harmful. We also know that the combination of abuse and neglect can be shattering to a child's psyche.

E. got very good care at COTP to the best of my knowledge. I have been there 2 times to volunteer and observe how well it was run.  I do not suspect any abuse or neglect.  BUT, the fact that E. was not placed at COTP until 7 months of age means there is a part of his infancy that I don't know about.  No one does. He was found abandoned at a hospital, starving and bloated from kwashiorkor.  He had several feeding tubes, and has a scar on his ankle where the nurses cut it open to find a vein for an IV.  I can imagine this would be very traumatic, let alone the fact that his mother had left.  In my mind, she left him out of love and fear. She knew that she could not care for him, or pay for his medical bills.  She left him in the best place she could think of, the hospital.  She loved him enough to take him there and not allow him to die in her arms at home.  

I don't know if E. has PTSD, but it is worth doing more research and looking into.  He is still holding his hands in a fist, or pinched together.  He is attached to his "guys" and takes them everywhere.  He has problems falling asleep. He has many hyperactive moments, clings to adults and seeks sensory input. These may all be signs.  I will have to talk with our doc about this and see if therapy is what he needs.  It never even occurred to me that this is what he could have. 

3 comments:

Laurie said...

I am so happy you didn't take offence to me sending this link to you - I wasn't trying to imply this is what was happening with E. When I read it I saw some behaviors in both my kids that could apply & make sense of a lot of their behaviors.

Salzwedel Family said...

Praying for your sweet boy and that the Lord will give you wisdom as you seek help.

Kathy C. said...

It's an interesting thought. Even if it's not that, it must have had some effect.